Startled
"Mom, you startled me. I know you aren't mad at me. but, when you talk like that you startle me." Max said this as he was walking into the kitchen to grab a napkin for himself.
"Max, how did I speak?"
"Mom, you said "Don't wipe on your sleeve"." I said this sharply to grab his attention...no please, no nice tone...I just wanted the correct behavior...to use a napkin and keep a clean sleeve.
"What should I have said so I wouldn't startle you?" Knowing the above and how I need to work on my tone...just as I often ask him to use the word "please" and work on his "tone" with me. Amazing how we expect so much from our kids when we often don't model the correct behavior to them...what a confusing message to a sweet 4 year old. Sigh.
"Mom, it was your tone." Max said this in a somewhat exasperated voice as if I should have known, which I should have.
"You are right Max. How should I say it in the future?"
"Max, please don't wipe on your sleeve." Max said this in a calm tone and included please. Very smart kid. He knows his stuff! Proud mommy!
"Excellent, Max. You are exactly right. I will work on my tone and the phrasing. Parents make mistakes too and I appreciate your using your words to tell me how you feel." Max makes me want to be a better person and watch my tone and phrasing with everyone!
Those are the conversations we have my house lately...startle...where did he get that word and the ability to use it so appropriately AND call me on my "tone"?
Remember your tone to whomever you are speaking to, but especially your kids!
"Max, how did I speak?"
"Mom, you said "Don't wipe on your sleeve"." I said this sharply to grab his attention...no please, no nice tone...I just wanted the correct behavior...to use a napkin and keep a clean sleeve.
"What should I have said so I wouldn't startle you?" Knowing the above and how I need to work on my tone...just as I often ask him to use the word "please" and work on his "tone" with me. Amazing how we expect so much from our kids when we often don't model the correct behavior to them...what a confusing message to a sweet 4 year old. Sigh.
"Mom, it was your tone." Max said this in a somewhat exasperated voice as if I should have known, which I should have.
"You are right Max. How should I say it in the future?"
"Max, please don't wipe on your sleeve." Max said this in a calm tone and included please. Very smart kid. He knows his stuff! Proud mommy!
"Excellent, Max. You are exactly right. I will work on my tone and the phrasing. Parents make mistakes too and I appreciate your using your words to tell me how you feel." Max makes me want to be a better person and watch my tone and phrasing with everyone!
Those are the conversations we have my house lately...startle...where did he get that word and the ability to use it so appropriately AND call me on my "tone"?
Remember your tone to whomever you are speaking to, but especially your kids!
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